Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Now Genetic Tests for Cellulite -- as if Teenage Girls' Self-Esteem Were Not Low Enough!

I decided to save my readers from having to look at a cellulite illustration.
In a new evil quest to steal the happiness from teenagers, DermaGenoma launched a $250 genetic test so that skinny teenagers can find out if they are going to have mattress folds of jiggly fat someday.

Why would anyone want this?

If there ever is anything that I would want peaceful ignorance about it would be cellulite -- afterall people say there is nearly nothing you can do to make it go away.

The test is an easy: just a cheek swab that your doc mails in.

The product is based on an Italian study published just in January, so kudos for getting this to market so fast.

Below is a news report on the test. It is a fairly straight-up story, and is not humorous beyond the basic absurdity of the whole thing.

DermaGenoma has lots of equally awful products, one will tell you if you are going to get bald, another if you will get arthritis, and a third if you are going to get frequent herpes outbreaks.

More:  Now you can be Facebook Friends with DermaGenoma!!